I've long thought that the Rolling Stones' "Under My Thumb" would be excellent if
covered by a female singer. You know, it would go like this:
"Under my thumb,
the boy who once had me down.
Under my thumb,
the boy who once pushed me around.
It's down to me
The difference in the clothes he wears
Down to me, the change has come,
He's under my thumb
Well, it hasn't happened yet (to the best of my knowledge), but the new movie Saving Silverman
stands as a tribute to the grand tradition of pussy-whipping that such a remake would celebrate.
The movie stars Amanda Peet (The Whole Nine Yards, WB's Jack and Jill)
as the kick-ass domineering Judith who finds herself an appropriately
passive boyfriend in Darren Silverman, who is played by Jason Biggs (American Pie).
Judith is a $200/hour psychologist, has a very nice craftsman-style house, knows martial arts,
and is able to wear dramatically low-cut blouses and dresses (we're talking Oscar-night cleavage
here) without her boobs falling out. If that isn't something for the women of America to aspire
to, I don't know what is.
Judith's fatal flaw is that she picks the wrong boyfriend. First of all, Darren requires a
bit more modification than Judith should have to settle for: he worships Neil Diamond, is
in a Neil Diamond cover band called Diamonds in the Rough, and has an ultra-lame job working in
a retirement home.
Judith is able to correct these flaws: she burns his Neil Diamond
records and makes him quit the band. I'm not quite sure what happens with his jobthat
scene must have been edited out.
I know some couples where the lady has managed to establish this kind of control over the gentleman.
I, however, have found it difficult to achieve. Maybe I could learn something from this movie...
What Judith fails to take into account is that Darren has two very loyal friends,
played by Jack Black (High Fidelity) from the band
Tenacious D, and
Steve Zahn (Happy, Texas).
These friends also happen to be psychos, and they kidnap Judith.
Being the righteous karate champion that she is, Judith of course escapes from captivity, but
ultimately has to give up on Darren, who finds his true love while Judith is missing.
Saving Silverman is ultimately the tragic story of a pussy-whipper with incredibly low-cut
clothes trying to find love in today's society. Through Judith's struggles, all women can learn
how to choose the right men to treat as doormats. It's a contender for Best Picture without a doubt.
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