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Detroit: It Sucks, but it's Great!
by Chris Minnick

It's been said that adaptability is man's greatest asset and his greatest fault. Even Luke Skywalker realized that there was no future on Tatooine farming dirt. If it weren't for our tremendous ability to adapt, we would all still live in Iraq (aka Mesopotamia). No one in their right mind would WANT to live in these hell holes today. At one point, though, both Tatooine and Iraq were nice places to live, or else no one would have ever lived there in the first place.

But - Luke never spent afternoons on a hammock contemplating the beauty of his surroundings, and it's been a long time since people have flocked to Iraq to escape the troubles of the world and to get in touch with their roots.

Why is it, then, that people stay in Detroit? The city is well past it's prime, but defenders of this crippled and withering overweight old man continue to defend it, as if it were the exception to the rule that says that people live in places that are livable.

Detroiters represent the flip side of the adaptability issue. You have gotten used to living here. Detroit's problems are too big to be solved in our lifetimes, and yet you stick around...hoping year after year that miraculously everything will get better.

Face it, Detroit is no longer needed. There is no longer any reason except sympathy for any auto company to open a new factory in Detroit. Factories are going to employ less and less people in the future anyway, and Detroit still really doesn't have much else. I won't dispute the fact that Detroit has made significant contributions to American culture. The problem is that all of this is in the past. I was born a few years after the riots, which I view as the moment Detroit died. Nothing has come out of Detroit since I was born.

Some argue that it's a great thing that Techno music supposedly came out of Detroit - as if Techno is some sort of super-creative revolutionary art form. Techno is nothing but boring, repetitive music that could only come from a city in which life is boring and repetitive.

Please, give up all this continuous annoying defending of Detroit. It's really sick and pointless.

"Even Luke Skywalker realized that there was no future on Tatooine farming dirt."


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